


Cracks

by Hanna



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loki is a bastard, PTSD, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanna/pseuds/Hanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki’s smirk was so satisfied that Steve lunged at him, only to be stopped with a hand.<br/>“Stop it!” he cried out. “Stop it!” Loki seemed to consider it, and Thor shuddered as a drop of venom landed on already burned skin. He moaned in pain, and Loki’s lips twisted into a gleeful, mad grin.<br/>“No,” he said. “I don’t think so.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracks

**Author's Note:**

> This was the start of my 'make Thor cry' campaign, which was inspired by a large number of fics which featured Loki being broken. I wanted to tip the scales *feral grin*.

Thor was taking Steve on a joy flight- it had become a habit the soldiers shared, another form of diversion than testing their strength against one another- when it happened. Mjolnir suddenly plunged to the ground and Thor could no longer hold it. They were falling, falling, and the wind rushing past Steve's ears stopped the frantic Thor from twisting so Steve fell atop him. The ground rushed at them, and for just a moment it was water, dark, roiling, unfathomably deep, and his breath caught in his chest.

Then he came to his senses and saw Thor's lips moving, but he couldn’t hear him. Mjolnir crashed into a building, leaving behind only a smoking crater, but this suburb wasn’t yet rebuilt, and no one was there to be hurt. They were drawn inexorably after the hammer, and as they hit the ground with an almighty crash, he knew no more.

XX

He woke in total darkness with a crushing weight atop him and gasped for breath before remembering what happened. This was Thor atop him, not water- Thor was not water, he reminded himself firmly- but his throat was already dry, and he remembered that too, the irony that his throat was so dry he couldn’t swallow and there was water all around him.

He dragged his mind from that. First things first: he had to get Thor off him.

Thor didn’t move when he nudged him, when he said his name, and with a cold feeling of dread- _what could knock out a god?_ \- he realized Thor was indeed out cold. He groped for his wrist and felt his pulse racing, but for all he knew that was normal for the Asgardian. When he tried to forcibly push him off, he couldn’t, and he looked down at himself, light enough streaming through the ceiling of their impromptu cave, which was barely large enough for the both of them, to examine himself.

His arms were skinny, his uniform much too large.

He gulped and tried to calm himself. If the serum had stopped working, that might be why Mjolnir fell from the sky, why Thor could no longer control it. But there was nothing he could do about that. His first priority was to get Thor off him and figure out what sort of shape they were in.

It was tough going, but he’d enlisted five times before Dr Erskine finally took notice of him. He wasn’t known for giving up. A little at a time, he managed to roll the Asgardian-who-might-just-be-mortal off him. He got twig arms and, he realized when he doubled over coughing his lungs out, his asthma back when he lost his powers. Thor lost none of his bulk.

He bit down on a curse when he reviewed himself properly. His arm was definitely broken, and it felt like several ribs had cracked. He knew what a cracked rib felt like all too well. His hip wouldn’t move; when he tried it sent shards of agony through him so he stopped.

Time to check on Thor.

Thor’s shoulder was at an odd angle- if he were human (which he might well be now)… Steve didn’t even want to think about the pain that would cause. His knee was swollen, the skin broken, something white poking out of it.

He swallowed bile.

“Thor,” he whispered, shaking him a little, taking care not to jolt his injuries. The big man didn’t stir. “Thor.” Still no response. Chewing his lip in worry, he tried to settle and hoped the others came soon. They’d come looking for them when they failed to return home.

XX

The instant he heard the footsteps, he knew it wasn’t any of the other Avengers. Tony’s thrusters would be making that whining sound, Bruce moved slower, more deliberately, Hulk cracked the pavement when he walked, and there was absolutely no way he’d ever hear either Clint or Natasha coming. These footsteps were light but not stealthy, quick but not hasty.

Thor propped himself up on his good shoulder with a low groan. He’d woken an hour ago, tried to sit, cracked his head on the ceiling, after all the agonized noise he made for the trouble of sitting, lay down again and hadn’t moved since. A sharp shard of stone dug into his hip, and he rolled over so fast Steve almost missed the movement with a curse that he was glad he didn’t understand (though he suspected it had something to do with a mother and a wild animal of some kind by the gestures that accompanied it). The men had tried to make conversation, but they hurt too much, and had remained silent.

“Loki,” Thor rasped now, and indeed, bare seconds later, the all too familiar face of the god of mischief peered through the gap. His grin was what Tony would have described as ‘shit eating’- though Steve could not figure out for the life of him why anyone would want to eat shit.

“Ah, brother,” Loki sighed indulgently as Thor’s elbow chose that moment to collapse and send him crashing to the ground. A sharp curse sounded, and Loki chuckled. “Did you like my trap?” he asked conversationally. “Rather ingenious, if I do say so myself.” Absurdly, he reminded Steve of Tony in that instant, all smug and proud.

“Where’s that hammer, hmm?”

Steve had been right; Thor was indeed mortal again, as evidenced by the fact his wounds weren’t healing, and he hadn’t been able to summon Mjolnir. This distressed him more than he would show Steve.

“Brother,” Thor said instead of answering. “What have you done?” Loki pressed his thin lips together mock thoughtfully.

“Well,” he began, then his eyes fixed on Steve. “Brought company?” Steve could see Loki figuring out which one he was, eyes working busily. Then he nodded. “The soldier,” he said. “Ah. Not so strong now, are you?” Loki reached a hand toward him… and Thor’s voice cut over them both.

“Do not lay a hand on him,” he snapped and Loki’s smirk widened as Steve did the only thing he could to protect himself in this state, an action so familiar to be ingrained in his muscle memory after all this time. He raised a hand to his face. Casually Loki took his wrist and snapped it. He couldn’t stop his scream.

“I’m sorry to say I only prepared for you,” Loki said thoughtfully, pursing his lips down at Steve in a way he did not like at all. “However, your friend is more than welcome to come too. Perhaps it will be even more amusing to have you both.” And with that decision made, Loki deftly plucked the pair of them up out of the rubble with surprising strength and placed them on their feet. Thor managed to hold his feet- just- by clutching to a wall. Steve fell to the ground and Loki rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll carry you. Bridal style, if you want,” he offered, but slung Steve over his back nonetheless like a sack of potatoes. He glanced at Thor, who was staring at Loki as if he were a total stranger. “Walk,” he ordered tersely, and Thor could only limp forward.

Two steps later, he was on the ground, groaning in agony. Loki clucked his tongue but Thor, white as a sheet and swearing continuously, was not getting up again.

“Well, I can’t carry you too,” Loki said. Privately, Steve thought he probably could. As if his words were some kind of signal, a hovercraft appeared out of nowhere piloted by some grey-skinned things.

“Fortunately,” Loki beamed, as if he was a child in a sweet shop, “I brought help.”

He roughly handed Steve over, and he was muscled in behind the pilot, gritting his teeth and trying very hard not to make a noise as he was jostled. With a contented sigh, Loki rolled his shoulders and stretched leisurely. Thor was shoved beside Steve, not bothering or able to contain his agony. Loki hopped up and propped opposite them and started chattering at them, but both captives, stark white and shaking like there was no tomorrow, couldn’t speak.

“It’s all decked out for you, brother,” Loki said. “Stone slab, shackles, poisonous snakes, the works.” Thor didn’t reply, and Loki placed a light hand on his knee.

It worked like a shot. Thor jolted as if stung and his eyes flew open with a strangled curse. Experimentally Loki pushed down and Thor swore as he tried to jerk away, but there was no room. Loki kept pushing, gleefully grinning at the sight of his brother’s agony, until Thor clocked him with his good arm.

One of the greyskins broke it promptly, and his scream was agonizing, but as Loki rubbed the back of his head and his jaw (healing already) Steve felt himself smiling grimly.

“Not nice,” Loki reprimanded him. “Not nice at all.” The greyskin pushed hard on Thor’s newly broken shoulder and Thor tensed right up, unable to contain the whine that left his throat along with the vicious curse (he would deny ever making that sound).

“Stop that!” Steve snapped and the greyskin ignored him, like he wasn’t even there. But after Loki nodded at him he stepped away and Thor sagged in relief, releasing a ragged breath. Loki turned to Steve.

He examined him, looking distinctly unimpressed. His sharp gaze went to the newly broken arm, and Steve’s eyes hardened, but he didn’t pull back even as he stiffened. He’d had scarier drill sergeants in the past- an image of Colonel Phillips flitted into his mind. Though, with them, he wasn’t in this bad shape, even before the serum.

How had Loki managed to depower the both of them? He had known that he’d escaped Asgard- the Avengers had been on alert for months, and SHIELD still was- but he had thought his powers stripped from him.

Apparently not.

Loki smirked at him as the craft started and they set off.

The journey was fairly quiet, broken only by Loki’s gloating and the captive’s pain. The greyskins were utterly mute. At some point, Steve slept, and when he woke, he was somewhere utterly unfamiliar- all ice, freezing. Thor was leaning against his shoulder, clearly seeking warmth, but he was just as cold as the other man and it did no good.

Thor’s eyes widened and his lips opened in sudden panic when he saw the scenery. Loki smirked at him.

“Indeed, brother,” he said. “I was thinking, when I’m done with you, that maybe the Jotun would appreciate a gift. What do you think?” Visibly, Thor gulped. Steve frowned.

They only stopped when they reached a cave. The captives were hauled in and Steve was shoved against the wall. It was dark, the walls icy, the floor icy. A stone slab was prominent in the middle of the cavern, runed chains attached to the side. The greyskins took Thor to that and lay him down. He held determinedly still as they stretched his arms, though his face twisted in pain. When he was bound, Loki lounged against the entrance to the cave and murmured a spell.

Steve felt pain shoot through him, pain that he remembered from Dr Erskine’s chamber, and realized the serum was reactivating. He groaned in agony, his knees buckled, but Loki wasn’t looking at him.

“Now,” Loki said, “You both have your powers back, but those chains- you recognize them, don’t you brother? Of course you do- will hold you no matter what you try to escape them. Good day.” He turned to leave, smiled a wicked smile, iced the cave entrance shut, and Thor and Steve were left alone.

Steve took a deep breath once the serum was active again some minutes later, and set his shoulders. He’d be healed within a day, and didn’t want to have to break his shoulders again to set them right. That done, he looked at Thor, who was watching him.

“Friend Steve,” Thor said. His muscles were already convulsing against the icy slab. It looked painful. “You will not wish to see what Loki intends to do to me.” Steve looked around the cave, barely lit by the eerie blue light that trickled through the ice.

“And where am I supposed to go?” he asked. “This stuff won’t melt, and it sure as hell won’t be able to be tunneled through.” Thor’s lips twisted bitterly as he turned to stare at the ceiling.

“There is a chamber like this on Asgard,” he said finally. “It is where the Allfather was to send Loki once I brought him back for justice.” His voice twisted on the word. Thor had made it clear he did not approve of Asgardian justice. He still loved his brother.

“I see no justice here,” Steve said and Thor grunted.

“Asgardian justice.” His tone was bitter.

After that, they did not speak.

XX

There was no time here, in the dark. The ice of the cave, as Steve had predicted, would not melt, and water was not provided, nor was food. Steve was hopeful for the first while, but Thor dashed those hopes.

“I can survive without,” he said. “And my brother will not have accommodated for your needs. How long are you able to survive without sustenance?” Steve quietly considered this.

“I’ve never tested it,” he admitted. Thor could not shrug, but he managed to get the general impression of movement across.

“Loki will feed you when you grow weak,” he said. “He will not want you to die. This punishment is life, not death.” And Steve shivered at the bleakness of his voice.

Later Thor told him what else was going to happen.

“There will be poisonous snakes,” he said. “Do not let their poison touch you. Enhanced as your abilities are, you are still Midgardian, and will be killed by it.”

The promised snakes were indeed next. Loki remained for a time to watch as they crawled all over Thor, dripping poison in trails which left his skin disfigured, which had him shuddering away from their scales and poison, both leaving agony in their wake. Loki’s smirk was so satisfied that Steve lunged at him, only to be stopped with a hand.

“Stop it!” he cried out. “Stop it!” Loki seemed to consider it, and Thor shuddered as a drop of venom landed on already burned skin. He moaned in pain, and Loki’s lips twisted into a gleeful, mad grin.

“No,” he said. “I don’t think so.” Desperate to spare Thor further suffering, Steve continued talking, for when Loki was talking to him, he wasn’t running his finger through the poison trails and spreading them across his body or digging his nails into Thor’s tender, inflamed flesh.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked in desperation. Loki cocked his head and turned to Thor, his green eyes fixed upon him, and Thor had to turn away from whatever he saw there.

“Did he tell you this is what he was going to do to me?” he asked conversationally. “Certainly, exile is an option… but the Allfather would not have taken that. This is just revenge.”

“No, brother,” Thor choked, voice filled with agony. “I would not have consigned you to this. I would have fought the Allfather.” Loki’s laugh was low and sent a chill down Steve’s spine.

“I’m sure you would have,” he sneered, “But the Allfather would not have listened to you.” That was the moment the snake chose to rear up and its venom dripped above Thor’s right eye, onto the slope down, his all too sensitive skin. Loki beckoned to Steve.

“Come have a look at his,” he invited, a note of steel in his voice, and Steve was again reminded of Tony’s enthusiasm for his work, painfully. He did not want to think about Tony being like Loki. He was powerless to resist as his feet took him forward. “Aesir have extraordinary regenerative properties, but I wonder if it will destroy his eye forever. We shall see, won’t we?” As the venom flowed onto his eyeball, Thor’s scream was agonizing, and Loki just laughed.

He left, but the snakes remained, and Steve often saw his shadow on the other side of the icy door. Thor’s skin healed (though his eye didn’t, and Steve ripped some of his shirt off and tied it around his head to form a blindfold, then modified it into an eye patch, for Thor could not stand not seeing the snakes, and he could not bear to look at the red weeping mess), at first quickly, then slower, until it could not take more and Thor could not stop screaming. The noise reverberated around the cave until Steve could not forget it even when the snakes were taken away and he was reduced to choking gasps of sheer agony that were somehow worse.

He approached Thor several times, trying to offer comfort, but Thor blindly pushed him away.

A silent age later Loki came by again, carrying a whip this time, a wicked looking cat-o-nine-tails with barbed ends. Steve swallowed. Thor closed his eye and took a deep, shuddering breath as the two greyskins accompanying him removed him from the slab, though not the chains, and strung him up against the wall.

“Now,” Loki said, making sure his brother was bound with his face against the ice so he couldn’t see, stroking the lines where the venom dripped onto his back with a light finger, making Thor shudder and Steve want to scream, but he didn’t, because it’d do no good. He knew; he’d tried. “What should I do to you?” he cracked the whip; Thor flinched. He smirked.

Stepping back he raised it and cracked it so it stopped barely before touching him, the air whistling down his skin, and he stiffened, balled his fists in his chains and tried, desperately, to breathe. Loki ran a light finger down his spine and he swallowed a ragged breath. Loki’s laugh was low in Thor’s ear.

“I’ll be back,” he said and left, iced the entrance over again- Steve had stopped running for it when he realized that he couldn’t break Thor’s chains and thus he’d be leaving Thor alone to Loki’s tender mercies- and silence broken only by Thor’s too fast breathing resumed.

Loki did come back. Many times. He teased Thor with the whip, laid tendrils on him, flicked him with it, but didn’t ever beat him. It was worse when he just stood at the entrance and watched them with that smirk, for Steve had to restrain himself from running at him- it did no good, he’d tried it was always an illusion- for when he just watched, Thor couldn’t hide his fear, and neither could Steve.

Steve almost wished for the snakes again. At least he had a tangible reason why they terrified him. But when Loki did bring the snakes again, he found it hard to remember why it was preferable to have them.

It was much to his displeasure that Steve learned his thirst and hunger intolerance was very high. It was worse when food was brought, for it was only brought to him, and Loki forbade him from giving any to Thor.

He tried, but Thor didn’t let him.

“Eat,” he said. “You need sustenance.” But his eyes were fixed on the food the whole time, hungrily, and Steve could barely choke it down. He did give Thor half the water despite his protests, which he gulped gratefully after he’d given in and accepted it, but before he could drink his half, Loki was there and Thor flinched away.

“I told you not to share,” he hissed and backhanded the glass out of Steve’s hand. “Or did you misunderstand me?” Steve’s eyes were wide as he stared at Loki, who advanced upon him. Unconsciously he stumbled back until he hit the wall.

“Answer me,” he snarled.

“This is inhumane!” Steve protested. Loki backhanded him, hard, leaving him coughing up blood, and snapped his fingers. The greyskins appeared with his whip and chained Thor to the wall. The beating was savage, and Thor was weeping uncontrollably at the end of it, screaming as the whip struck his too sensitive skin, and Steve was flinching every time, hands curled into useless fists until Loki had his fill. He wanted to turn away, to mute it out and wait for it to be over- but if he did, Loki would keep going and going, so he was forced to watch his friend’s torture, stiff beside Loki, tears streaming down his cheeks, spluttering apologies.

“Do not disobey me again,” he snarled and vanished. No more food or water was provided for a very long time, and when it was, Thor couldn’t even look at it without cringing.

Loki came in with a cup one day, balancing it carefully. It was full to the brim of what Steve recognized as snake venom, and his eyes widened as Loki sat it next to Thor, who held deathly still as Loki rested a light hand on his shoulder.

“Brother…” Thor began, but Loki silenced him by tipping a little venom onto his chest. He could not stop the scream that escaped him. Loki smirked.

“Any last words?” Loki asked, and Thor paled. The cup was held precariously close to his face and Steve had to resist the urge to strangle Loki, forced himself to stay still by the wall, unable to stop him, unable to tear his eyes from him.

“Brother,” Thor began again, tone pleading. “Please, don’t.”

“I am not your brother,” he said flatly, and poured the whole cup down his throat. Thor’s scream was at first agonizing, then it abruptly cut off, and Steve rushed forward, damn the consequences, but suddenly Loki was gone and Thor was writhing in mortal agony as he managed choked grunts, and his cheeks were covered in tears. Steve grasped his hand and the deathly grip Thor returned was welcome, for at least he was not shutting him away.

Loki did not visit them again, nor did the greyskins.

The isolation was almost worse.

XX

Rescue finally came in the form of an incredibly pissed Asgardian who looked remarkably like Thor. The footsteps made both tense up and Steve moved closer to Thor, desperate to protect him, but when it wasn’t Loki who melted the ice- rather, it was smashed by a scepter- and a huge man entered, dragging Loki by the scruff of the neck, Thor tried instinctively to reach out to him, whimpering, and Steve realized this must be their savior.

He hurled Loki into the wall, where he lay dazed, and ran to the slab, wrenched the cuffs off and cradled the emaciated giant tenderly in his arms. His glare at Loki was deathly and had the younger god flinching away as Thor buried his head in his chest.

“Oh, my son,” he whispered, voice agonized. Loki opened his mouth and a blow from one of the warriors shut him up.

“Fa-fath,” he choked out. He’d regained enough use of his voice in the eternity they’d been left alone to say simple syllables, but it hurt. Steve was amazed at how quickly he healed. Exhausted, he slumped against Odin Allfather’s chest, and Odin turned his attention to Steve.

He could not speak, though he tried.

Deciding the debrief could wait till later, Odin indicated that one warrior should take Steve- which he did gently, cradling him, and he was horrified at how easy it was to pick him up- and another Loki. That one grabbed him roughly, furious at how the Prince of Asgard had been treated, and thrust a gag into his mouth. Then they were off, and Steve was so tired. He hadn’t slept in so long. He nodded off briefly against the warrior’s chest before jerking awake.

“Sleep,” the warrior said. “I shall protect you.” He believed him. Closing his eyes he let himself fall asleep.

XX

He woke somewhere unfamiliar, but warm. He basked in the warmth. It had been so long since he could feel his fingers. They ached, but he knew that the worst was over, likely while he slept. And thank God for that. He had been thawed out once before, and it was living hell.

No, his brain supplied. Living hell was what he had just been rescued from. For he remembered the rescue, how Odin Allfather had stormed their prison, and what he felt was nothing more or less than… famished.

A laugh bubbled to the surface and a woman approached. She had brown hair and kind eyes, and he trusted her instinctively.

“Steve,” she said. “Relax. You’re on Asgard. Both of you. You’re safe.” He looked for Thor, who was in the next bed, a proper eyepatch over his right eye. He wasn’t so thin as before and had a plate full of food on his lap. She followed his gaze.

“He can speak- barely,” she said, pursing her lips. “But his vision is very bad in his right eye. It will heal in time, but for now, he needs the eyepatch. His scars, they will never fully heal.” Steve nodded, thanking God- wasn’t that a funny thing to do in Asgard?- that he hadn’t had to ask. “I am Frigga, his mother,” she added. “He’s told us all about you, and the others.” She must have noticed his sudden panic. “They’ve been contacted. When you both are ready to return to Midgard, they will be waiting for you.” He lay back and sighed in relief.

“Do you want anything?” she asked.

“Food,” he blurted, and Thor laughed.

XX

They stayed a week in Asgard. After they were released from the infirmary Thor showed him around and his jaw hurt from gaping.

_Be glad you see this_ he wrote on his slate. He only spoke if he had no other option. It hurt too much. _No other mortals have seen this place._

“I’m grateful you let me see, then,” Steve said, and Thor smiled.

_I wanted to show you. The others also._ Steve sighed, stared down into the clouds.

“I miss them,” he said. Thor nodded.

_I miss them also._

“I can’t wait to go back,” Steve said, and Thor looked around, hungrily eating the scenery. “Do you want to come back, Thor? You could stay here. No one would blame you.” Thor rubbed his healed eye. The eyepatch had come off that morning, but his vision was still blurry. Asgardian physiology really was amazing. He nodded.

_I wish to return._

Steve smiled.

“Glad to hear it.”

XX

The days in Asgard were some of the best Steve had spent in his whole life. The feasts were brilliant, and he amazed the Asgardians by going head to head with Volstagg in an eating contest. When it came to drinking, though, he was no way equal. He was not able to be drunk on Earth beverages- but one tankard of Asgardian mead had him smashed. It was just too bad Tony wasn’t here, because he’d been trying to get him drunk for months.

The nights, however, he would rather do without. He had horrible nightmares, nightmares he recognized as memories. Thor screaming, Loki bearing down on him, the ice rushing towards him. He’d wake sweating, searching for Thor, sure Loki had finally killed him, and Thor would put a hand on his arm and hum gently to calm him.

Thor’s nights were far from pleasant also, especially as Loki’s trial drew nearer. He’d often wake, looking around wildly for Steve, grasp at his arm when he found him and refuse to let him go for a minute or two. It was this that told Steve how much of an anchor he’d been for Thor in that cave, just like Thor had anchored him to sanity.

People talked about Loki, and every time, Thor shrank slightly, until they stopped talking about him in his presence. Then he started to talk about Loki, determined not to let his brother beat him. At the trial, Thor was forced to sit beside Odin as heir. When exile was announced as the punishment, Loki smirked at Thor, who forced himself to meet his eyes. Steve was not so strong.

A week later, both were declared physically fit to return to Earth, and an invitation was extended to all the Avengers to visit when they wanted. Thor clung to his mother before they left, and she stroked his hair and whispered soothing things to him. His father held him close and promised to come if he called. Then Heimdall sent them through the bifrost to Earth.

The Avengers were waiting with a quinjet when they arrived. And they weren’t the only ones. Jane was there, and flew into Thor’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks. He wiped them off her face and lent down to press his forehead to hers. He did not let her go through the rest of the reunion, as Tony told him that chicks dug scars, as Clint told him he looked strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark, then promised to make him watch Star Wars one day, as Natasha just smiled at him and as Bruce shook his free hand.

Even when he summoned Mjolnir with his other hand he held Jane close. When he climbed into the quinjet, her still in his arms, he sat down, put her on his lap and kissed her frantically. The others tactfully ignored them.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Jane scolded him through tears, and he pressed a kiss to her lips, a long, passionate, needy kiss.

“I shall try my very hardest not to,” he said, but he recognized the danger in his job- and so did Jane.

The party lasted a week in the Avengers Tower to celebrate their return, but for three days Thor and Jane were not in attendance, and it was clearly reluctantly they showed their faces at all. Thor had brought mead from Asgard, and Steve celebrated being able to become plastered by proceeding to do so, much to Tony’s delight.

He woke up with a monster of a hangover, but it was worth it to forget for just a night.

One night it was cold, and Jane woke alone. Frowning, she saw Mjolnir and Thor’s slate on the floor beside the bed and rose, slipped a nightgown on before heading out to look for him. Eventually she found him on the balcony, standing, staring out.

“Thor?” she asked, her teeth chattering. He turned and frowned at her, concernedly, heading over to gather her in his arms. She leaned back in his secure grip. “What are you looking at?” With a hand he indicated the whole of the scenery. She looked confused.

“Cage,” he said, pointing at the Avengers Tower. “Free.” He indicated the view again. She sighed.

“What did he do to you?” she asked, and he said nothing, just lifted her in his arms and headed inside again.

Steve was equally reluctant to talk about it, and no one pushed. They all had their experiences they’d rather not relive. Tony remembered Afghanistan, remembered how he came home and spent as much time outside as he could around building the Mk II; Natasha turned her mind from the Red Room; Clint tried not to think about Loki with as little success as Thor and Steve and Bruce remembered Colonel Ross before burying himself in his work so not to do so.

Slowly life grew to be as normal as possible again. Steve had a lot of fanmail to open. Thor was asked constantly about his scars on the street and was glad he could not speak, for he would shout if he was able to. Fury gave them as much time as possible to recuperate before sending them out, but both Thor and Steve insisted on getting back in the world. They did not want time to dwell on what had happened. Dr Doom attacked the city, and they took with vigor to beating him down as if nothing had happened (though it had been months that they’d been in that cave, seven months- it felt like several lifetimes).

In the Tower, they slotted back into their domestic roles and routines. Thor was still banned from the kitchen. Steve still ate military rations when he felt homesick (everyone thought he was crazy for it, but it helped him). However, both men’s appetites had notably decreased. The first time Thor saw food he absolutely refused it. They trained hard in the gym to get back to their former shape. Thor was reluctant to fly again until Jane coaxed him into the air with a story about how she fell off a horse when she was twelve, but he never did find the same pleasure in flying as he did before.

They started sleeping in the same room unless Jane was visiting, for when Steve woke alone he panicked, sure that Loki had taken Thor away while he was sleeping and that he’d never see him again; and when Thor woke alone he searched wildly for Steve, his anchor to sanity and strength.

While the other Avengers learned to understand Thor anew, to read his slate and his new cues, Steve didn’t have to learn Thor. He knew Thor better than he knew himself. And sometimes they would look at each other, without a word, and they knew what the other wanted, but so did Natasha and Clint, and Tony and Bruce, and even in a group, everyone has a best mate.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback please!


End file.
